Whether you're a new or mature believer in Christ, you must understand your current state and condition to first value and secondly accept the Salvation that has been freely given to you by Grace in Jesus’ death on the cross and His resurrection.
In working through this realization, I want to first acknowledge,
there’s a divine reason you are reading this today and seeking to further your relationship with God. A reason not governed by chance or coincidence but by the divine Grace of God. A Grace you may not yet fully understand, but is fully evident in your life.
There’s a reason you’ve felt a yearning you could not ignore in this particular season of your life. A pulling desire to first get to know God and second, to further a relationship with Him. It is at this appointed time that God's calling out to you has ignited something within you.
Again, it is not by chance or coincidence that you are here, but by God's divinely appointed time that you've finally come to answer a calling you've always felt like a lingering scent.
It was in God's divinely appointed timing that Saul (converted to Paul) answered Him on the road to Damascus. While you might have expected God to intervene sooner, preventing the deaths of the believers Saul gave his voice against (), no. It was during Saul's journey to Damascus that God chose for Saul to answer, leading to Saul's conversion into Paul.
Why is this important, you ask?
Regardless of your comprehension, your presence here is orchestrated by God's divine timing, no different than Paul on the road to Damascus. Whether in the past you have acknowledged God and fallen away, shamefully ignored Him because of guilt, or even denied His existence.
No matter how often you've ignored His call, He has consistently called out to you, showcasing His immutable Love, Grace, and Mercy. That’s the Love, Grace, and Patience of God.
In this acknowledgment,
I wish to rejoice in the upcoming conversion that awaits you upon your response to God's call. It marks a new beginning you might not yet fully understand, but God does.
He sees you not as you are now, but as the person you are at your essence. Just as God saw Saul as Paul before Saul even knew he was Paul, so too does God see you before you even know who you are.
So I celebrate and welcome you!
your emptiness and purpose
As you sit here reading this, I want you to grasp that the persistent lingering emptiness or questioning of purpose you've attempted to satisfy with your career, money, material things, plastic surgery, sex, drugs, medication, therapy, or relationships, both platonic and romantic, is a void that only God can truly fill.
A void humanity has sought to fill since Adam's fall in his separation from the presence of God. A lingering emptiness and questioning of purpose that is the result of your distance from God, your separation from His presence. The same pain and emptiness Adam experienced in his judgment, and the profound anguish Jesus experienced before His crucifixion.
Matthew 27:46
46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou me?
Forsaken. Enkatelipes. Enkatelipes from enkataleipo (ἐγκαταλείπω), Strong's G1459, to leave behind, to abandon, to desert, to leave in straits. (Greek)
It is the presence of God you truly seek!
Unfortunately, you’ve been lied to and misled by satan with the false illusion that what you seek lies in your career, money, material things, plastic surgery, sex, drugs, medication, therapy, or relationships, both platonic and romantic.
To only learn when you’ve obtained these things, the lingering emptiness and questioning of purpose continue. A hunger that is never satisfied in these things.
the cause of the void
Now here's the thing,
that lingering feeling of emptiness and questioning of purpose you've been experiencing for weeks, months, years, or even decades is nothing more than the "effect" caused by your separation from the presence of God.
So the question you must ask yourself is...
"What is the 'cause' of my separation from God?"
Because in pinpointing the direct "cause," you can effectively and efficiently change or rectify the "effect." Not being able to pinpoint the direct "cause" to the "effect" is where many fall short in so many areas of their lives.
So, the answer to the question...
"What is the 'cause' of my separation from God?"
Lies in your current state and condition in which you are in.
Your Sin.
It is vital that you come to the realization that Sin is the separator, the void creator. It was Sin that separated Adam and Eve from God; it was the Sin of man that Jesus carried that made Him feel forsaken by God.
It is the Sin that you’ve experienced, committed, have formed a relationship with, and unfortunately have carried all these years that has led to your separation from the presence of God.
Sin is the culprit.
Note: Separating from the presence of God does not mean the removal of God or no access to God. This is why you've continued to see Him evident in your life through many blessings and provisions, despite your sinful actions. Leading to the illusions of God's acceptance, but rather, what you are experiencing is His Grace and Mercy. No different than God giving Sodom and Gomorrah time before their judgment.
You are not to seek the blessings of God, but rather the presence of God. Which is the author of your everlasting peace and joy, which are only found in God. A peace and joy you cannot comprehend until you've first-hand experienced it.
The blessings and provisions of God are only short-term, but it's the presence of God that's everlasting.
Think of it like this...
Picture a scenario where a parent fulfills all their child's material needs but neglects to engage in meaningful conversation or spend quality time together. Similarly, imagine a marriage where one partner provides lavish material comforts, like money, a huge home, a car, etc., but lacks emotional presence.
In both cases, you have witnessed the consequences: the child craves parental attention, often resorting to unhealthy habits and attention-craving rebellion to compensate for the void, or the spouse seeks fulfillment elsewhere in harmful ways like adultery, longing for the attention they lack at home.
No different than these example scenarios, it is the presence of God that you seek, nothing else. The challenge lies in the human tendency to gravitate towards the tangible aspects of life, prioritizing the physical realm. However, it's crucial to recognize that spiritual fulfillment, experiencing God's presence, holds greater significance.
Consider Solomon's story,
he was the richest man of his time, if not ever, but strayed from God because of his numerous wives, worldly possessions, and pursuit of knowledge independent of God. Despite all he amassed, he came to the conclusion that none of it mattered nor compared.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
The devil aims to divert you from the crucial aspect: God's presence.
That's why your Salvation holds such significance. It restores you back into God's presence. Heaven isn't the primary aim of Salvation, nor are temporary blessings. They're all secondary outcomes, not the ultimate purpose.
What is heaven if you do not know God?
This is why scripture is clear in stating to first delight in the Lord, and the blessings and provision are a by-product...
Psalm 37:4
4 thyself also in the LORD ; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Delight. Hith'annag. Hith'annag from anag (עָנַג), Strong's H6026, to be soft and pliable, to take exquisite delight, to find pleasure in. (Hebrew)
To delight is to find your pleasure in Him.
It is so important you get this!
It is in your understanding of this that you may intentionally work out your Salvation upon the correct foundations. Your Salvation brings you back into the presence of God. The presence of God is the only thing that can fill that void of lingering emptiness and questioning of purpose.
the sin you have carried
Now, let's discuss the Sin that has led to your current state and condition, the "cause" of your separation from the presence of God, which has created your void of emptiness and questioning of purpose. A void you've tried to fill with your career, money, material things, plastic surgery, sex, drugs, medication, therapy, or relationships, both platonic and romantic.
With empathy and compassion, I cannot begin to fathom the Sin you have unfortunately been a victim of, have committed, and lastly have been tethered to for years, struggling to let go of in your heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Some of you have experienced the loss of a loved one, have been sexually and or physically abused, raped, sexually molested as a child or adult, sexually abused by a church leader, a victim of adultery, cheated on, publicly embarrassed with a sex tape, blackmailed by your secrets into doing things against your will, financially stolen from, physically stolen from, homeless, neglected as a child, never have met or seen your parents, never experienced the love of a father or mother, and the list can continue.
All experiences of Sin inflicted upon you have consciously or unconsciously shaped and molded the person you are today. Your thought process, your perceptions of the world and people, your understanding of love, what it means to be loved, how you view yourself, and how you view the Love, Grace, and Mercy of God.
It is in being a victim of these life-altering Sins inflicted upon you that you’ve created a deep emotional attachment to these Sins, causing a repetitive interaction with the hurt, pain, and trauma you have endured and have carried all these years.
These Sinful experiences, unfortunately, have the power to shape you into someone who has or can become...
A blatant liar, a harborer of hate in their heart towards various people, a cheater, an adulterer, a murderer, a fornicator, a selfishly greedy person, an active or former homosexual, a sexual or physical abuser, a pedophile, a rapist, a porn addict, someone who has committed abortions, someone who has committed bestiality, a drug addict, someone who has done heinous things for drugs, an active or former drug dealer, someone who has sold people into sex work, an active or former prostitute, an active or former Onlyfans or porn content producer selling their body, someone who has stolen large sums of money from various people, an atheist who has denied God (both vocally and in actions), and the list can continue.
I Corinthians 6:9-11
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are , but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
Washed. Apelousasthe. Apelousasthe from apolouo (ἀπολούω), Strong's G628, to wash off, to wash away, to be fully cleansed. (Greek)
Kingdom citizen,
each of you possesses a life story of experiences no one knows but you and God. You’ve carried the burden of the Sins you’ve been a victim of and the Sins you’ve committed for all these years.
An unbearable and tiresome load that has led you to hide, give up, run away, ignore God, go further into Sin in an attempt to numb yourself to the pain and thoughts, or medicate yourself.
All elements of your emptiness and questioning of purpose.
In both the things you have experienced and the things you have done, you’ve constructed and accepted the belief…
There’s no fathomable way the God I’ve heard of can heal me of what I’ve been a victim of or forgive me of what I’ve done.
There’s no way!
Who can love me, who can forgive me after what I've been through or what I've done, definitely not God. I am beyond the condition of God receiving me.
I am damaged goods, and there’s no way the God I’ve heard about would ever forgive me. There’s no way the God I’ve read about can love someone like me. Why would He, why me? Who am I?
It’s not possible, I’ve yelled at Him, cursed at Him, screamed at Him, I’ve ignored Him, I’ve blatantly sinned, and I’ve denied Him.
There is no coming back from where I have gone and where I am.
Lamar, you don’t understand. I’ve been through so much. So much has been done to me, and in return, I’ve done so much. You have no idea.
Kingdom citizen,
again, with empathy, I cannot begin to fathom the Sin you have unfortunately been a victim of, have committed, and lastly have been tethered to for years, struggling to let go of in your heart, mind, body, and spirit.
While that may be the case, while I might not know your life story and experiences, who I do know is the God I serve. I do know there is no Sin greater than His Love and Mercy.
I would suggest that God allowed the many shortcomings of the many great individuals in the Bible for your lessons. For you to learn His nature and character. For you to see the type of Love and Mercy He is capable of.
Let's take a look at a few examples...
King David, regarded as a man after God's own heart, faced his share of Sin, including adultery and orchestrating the death of Bathsheba's husband.
Likewise, Lot, deemed just by God (), chose to dwell in a sinful city (Sodom), and in a drunken state, perceiving not, fathered children by his daughters, leading to the ancestry of the Moabites and Ammonites (). Remarkably, Ruth, a Moabite woman, features prominently in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.
These are just a few examples of individuals who committed what some would consider Sin beyond return, while God displayed a level of Love and Mercy for each of these individuals that you cannot comprehend.
Lastly,
let's take a look at Saul, who was later converted into Paul, a man who persecuted believers unto the death (), gave his voice against them when they were put to death, and blatantly denied God with fervency.
A man who not only many would have written off, but he, too, would have written himself off. Yet God saw and knew Paul to be more than what he saw in himself and used him mightily for the edification of His Kingdom.
Why?
One, because of the Love, Grace, and Mercy of God, and two, as I stated, God sees you not as you are now, but as the person you are at your essence, at your deep core. A person you have not yet met and are only capable of meeting in the presence of God.
So again,
welcome to your new beginning, the beginning of your Salvation.
As I shared at the beginning of this entry, you must first understand your current state and condition to first value and secondly accept the Salvation that has been freely given to you by Grace in Jesus’s death on the cross and His resurrection.
If you do not understand the value and importance of something, no matter the reality of the magnitude of its value and importance, you will not value or prioritize it due to your perception of it.
Kingdom citizen,
in your self-constructed belief that...
"There’s no fathomable way the God I’ve heard of can heal me of what I’ve been a victim of or forgive me of what I’ve done."
You must first understand this is a false narrative and belief that satan has planted in your heart and mind, and you have unfortunately nurtured and grown in your heart, mind, body, and soul as you feed this false narrative and belief with shame and guilt. Keeping you empty and separated from God.
the god you have only heard of
I want to acknowledge the keyword in how you perceive the Love and Forgiveness you’ve deemed God powerless toward your Sin is…
“Heard”
Unfortunately, you are basing God and what He can do on words from the mouth of another and scriptures you've read out of context and without the maturity of understanding. Job questioned God from what he did not know, and God answered him out of the whirlwind.
You speak of a God you do not know, but have only experienced in the blessings He has given you. I cannot stress enough experiencing God's blessings is not the same as knowing God, the blessing giver. Your relationship is with the blessings, not God. Remember the provision without presence I discussed earlier.
Your questioning God and the power He has in overcoming the Sin you've experienced and committed, with His Love, Grace, and Mercy, sounds all too similar to that of Job.
Here's how God responded to Job…
Job 38:2-11
2 Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? 3 Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me. 4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. 5 Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? 6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof; 7 When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy? 8 Or who shut up the sea with doors, when it brake forth, as if it had issued out of the womb? 9 When I made the cloud the garment thereof, and thick darkness a swaddlingband for it, 10 And brake up for it my decreed place , and set bars and doors, 11 And said, Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further: and here shall thy proud waves be stayed?
You darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge. You speak of a Love and Forgiveness you do not understand. You speak of a Love and Forgiveness that is outside of the nature of any person on this earth. You speak of a Love and Forgiveness that words cannot describe.
Why?
Because one of satan's greatest tactics is to plant the seed of shame and guilt and allow your mind to run wild in constructing the false beliefs grown from that seed of shame and guilt.
The same seed of shame and guilt satan planted into the hearts of Adam and Eve that caused them to run away and hide from God is the same seed of shame and guilt he has planted in your heart.
Instead of Adam and Eve running to God when He called out to them, they ran and hid. I want you to understand there's a significant difference between shame and guilt than that of conviction.
Shame and guilt are separators that lead to an individual wanting to hide themselves. Whereas conviction is a barrier that prevents someone from going too far.most highlighted & shared
satan wants you to think that the feeling you're experiencing is shame and guilt, but rather it's the conviction of the Holy Spirit saying...
Son, Daughter, come back. You're getting too far. I know it hurts, I know you messed up. It's ok. Come let me heal that for you, let me cater to that wound.