the true vine

Over the years, as both a faith-based Life Performance Coach and a teacher of the Word of God, I’ve noticed that one of the greatest challenges believers face is…

“Abiding in Him” (John 15:4)

Abide. Meinate. Meinate from meno (μένω), Strong's G3306, to remain, to stay, to dwell, to continue, to not depart. (Greek)

Abiding in Christ is not a momentary decision but a continual process, a lifelong relationship built on trust, surrender, and intimacy with God through Jesus Christ.

how many enter the relationship

Yet many believers enter this relationship through one of three primary motivations:

Fear: I don’t want to go to hell. What if there really is a God? At least if I’m saved, I’ll go to heaven.

Emotion: Seeking rescue or relief from a particular hardship or season of struggle.

Feeling: It just feels like the right thing to do.

While these motivations may lead someone to God, they often begin with the wrong heart posture, one centered on urgency and self-preservation rather than on the pursuit of long-term intimacy and a genuine relationship with Him.

A heart posture as such will never sustain a true relationship with God.

When your relationship begins in fear, it eventually fades as the urgency of judgment wears off. Over time, you either grow numb to that fear or convince yourself that God is slack in His judgment (II Peter 3:9).

When your faith is rooted in emotion, it becomes transactional. Once relief or rescue is received, the perceived need for God diminishes, and the relationship stalls.

And when your faith is built on feelings, it’s destined to crumble. Feelings are fleeting, unstable, and ever-changing; they are sand, not stone, an unreliable foundation upon which no lasting relationship can stand (Matthew 7:24).

True intimacy with God must be built on faith, love, and surrender, not fear, emotion, or momentary feeling.

This is why you find yourself struggling to “Abide in Him” both willfully and healthily.

Instead of establishing your relationship upon resting in the relationship, you entered into the relationship transactionally. Your walk with God has been tit for tat, effort for reward, work to bear fruit, obedience for outcome.

The focus subconsciously has always been about you and not Him. So instead of seeing what God has done, is doing, and going to do, you can only see what you’ve done, what you’re not doing, and what you have to do for the relationship.

You’ve made the relationship a burden revolving around you, rather than simply resting in Him (Matthew 11:28-30).

the weight you were never meant to carry

My, my, my, I, I, I

A dangerous mindset that often leads to the belief…

“If I don’t operate perfectly, then God’s eternal nature will change. He’ll stop loving me, caring for me, or showing me mercy.”

And this is where the burden in your relationship with God is born, where you begin carrying the weight of the relationship on your own back.

A weight that God never intended for you to carry, never placed upon you, and never desired for you to bear. His desire has always been that you rest in Him, allowing Him to sustain what He initiated.

Yet,

this rest has been impossible because of your worldly idea of a relationship and how you’ve tried to sustain it, through effort, fear, and striving, rather than through faith, surrender, and intimacy.

“Weight is a burden, and responsibility is a standard.”

He is calling you to a higher standard in your walk with Him, not as a means of justification, but sanctification.

Kingdom citizen,

a renewed mind

You must cleanse yourself of the thought patterns of the foundations of your relationship with God. You must renew your mind. You must find a new wine skin.

Romans 12:2

² And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Matthew 9:17

¹⁷ Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved.

Your freely given relationship with God is or will be choked out, not because of Him, but because of your unwillingness to let go of the patterns, understanding, and frameworks you once operated from.

He wants you to be renewed. To truly abide, you must surrender your former way of thinking and step fully into His structure, His frame, and His understanding.

God does not require performance from you; He desires communion, fellowship, and love.

It is through these that you naturally develop a holy reverence for Him, walk in obedience to His commandments, and gain a deeper understanding of the goodness and necessity of your relationship with Him.

As mentioned earlier, the reasons that often bring you to God may be correct, but it is the heart posture behind them that determines whether your relationship will flourish in intimacy or wither under the weight of self-effort.

the parable of the true vine

This brings me to the Parable of the True Vine.

It is in this parable that Jesus gives you a beautiful picture of how He connects you with the Father, how you are to abide in Him, and how, through that abiding, He produces lasting fruit both in your life and in the lives of those around you.

Let’s shift our attention to John 15:1-10, and we read…

John 15:1-10

¹ I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. ² Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. ³ Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. ⁴ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. ⁵ I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. ⁶ If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. ⁸ Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. ⁹ As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. ¹⁰ If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Fathers commandments, and abide in his love.

Husbandman. Georgos. Georgos from ge and ergon (γῆ, ἔργον), Strong's G1092, a tiller of the ground, a farmer, a vinedresser, the one who works the soil. (Greek)

Purgeth. Kathairei. Kathairei from kathairo (καθαίρω), Strong's G2508, to cleanse, to prune, to purge, to clear away what hinders fruit. (Greek)

you are the branch

In studying this parable, I was confronted with a profound truth...

In your relationship with God, you’ve taken on responsibilities that were never yours to carry.

You’ve been operating as the husbandman, the vine, and the branch, attempting to plant, nurture, and produce all at once.

No, that’s not your role.

You are solely the branch. Your purpose is to bear fruit, not to plant the seed, not to be the vine, and not to prune or cleanse the fruit.

You didn’t initiate this relationship, God, the Husbandman, did. You didn’t save yourself to make this relationship possible. God gave His only Son, the true Vine, that through Him you might once again be connected to the Source of life.

You never had to create that connection; Jesus took on that responsibility completely. Through Him, life flows to you. You were never meant to produce fruit by your own effort; it is Christ in you who produces fruit through your abiding in Him.

You do not have to cleanse the fruit; the Father, the Husbandman, purges the branch, and you are made clean through His word spoken unto you (John 15:3).

And you don’t determine who benefits from the fruit you bear, God Himself oversees the distribution, ensuring it nourishes who and where He intends.

At no point are you called to carry the weight of this relationship. God carries the weight.most highlighted & shared

Your role is simple…

“Abide in Him”

It’s when you begin to carry the weight of the relationship yourself that you unknowingly disconnect from the Source of life. Like a branch separated from the vine, you stop bearing fruit, begin to wither, and are eventually taken away.

routine without relationship

You struggle in your relationship with God because, though you may know of Him, you are not abiding in Him. Despite your mechanical five-minute prayers, occasional thoughts of Him, and consistent Sunday church attendance, there is little intimacy, only routine.

It’s like two people who are married, living in the same house, exchanging polite greetings in the morning and a brief kiss before bed, yet sharing no true conversation. The relationship exists in name, but not in depth. There is no connection, no intimacy, no life.

This is where many believers find themselves today. They carry the title Christian, yet do not truly know Christ. There were no vows of the heart, only routine.

And the reason?

Because the same struggles that affect your natural relationships, trust issues, unresolved trauma, and fear of vulnerability have carried over into your spiritual ones.

Release it all. Sit with Him. Open His Word, not for personal gain, reward, or intellect, but for relationship. Learn who our Father truly is. He longs for you to draw near to Him, to rest in His presence, and to let Him take care of the rest.